Research says that we spend about 40% of our time thinking about stressful thoughts. Thoughts about how we are not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, or worthy enough of something. These thoughts keep us from trying something new, raising our hand to share our thoughts and so much more.
Byron Katie has devoted her life to something she calls doing The Work. The Work consists of four questions that help you face these stressful thoughts straight on.
Is it true?
Can you absolutely know it is true?
How do you react, what happens, when you think this stressful thought?
Who would you be without this thought?
Recently, we taught our third and fourth grade students this strategy and have encouraged them to make it a habit to ask themselves these questions. If you are interested in learning more about the work, check out thework.com. The Four Questions: For Henny Penny and Anybody with Stressful Thoughts and Tiger, Tiger is it True? by Byron Katie are great books to reinforce this strategy with kids and not a bad place for adults to start either.
No doubt raising children can lead to a fair amount of stress for you as well. Marriage and Family Therapist, Susan Stiffelman, uses these four questions in work she does with parents and shares her insights in the book Parenting Without Power Struggles: Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids While Staying Cool, Calm, and Connected (2010). The Counseling Office has a copy available to borrow, if you are interested please contact one of our school counselors.
The possibilities are limitless on who we can be and what we can do just by changing our thoughts.
