Stephen Covey defines proactive as
“being responsible for our own lives…..our
behavior is a function of our decisions,
not our conditions.
Proactive people focus on issues within
their circle of influence. They work on
things they can do something about. The
nature of their energy in doing this is
positive, enlarging and magnifying. They
increase their Circle of Influence.
Third Grade - The Four Questions
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Thoughts come and go. If we cling to the mean thoughts and start believing them we create stress. The four questions based off of Byron Katie's work helps use reframe and turnaround our thoughts. Freeing us to replace our pain with positive thoughts and feelings.
When a person is reactive, there is no space between what is happening to him or her and how they respond. When a person is proactive, he or she creates the space they need to choose the best response to the situation.
A rock problem is similar to a rock in that no matter how much we push on a rock, it is not going to change. For rock problems we focus on feeling better about the problem. We can do this by getting our feelings out through talking, writing or drawing, and by doing fun things that take our mind off the problem. Examples of rock problems include divorce, death, moving schools... things that children don't have any control over.
A play dough problem we can change it into something else. Just like you can change a piece of play dough into something new. A play dough problem can be "fixed" in some way. For play dough problems we focus on trying to find a solution to the problem. Examples of play dough problems might include forgetting to do something, or having a fight with a friend. For these problems, we might make a visual or written reminder, or talk out the problem with our friend.
Kindergarten - Soda Can & Water Bottle Reactions
If your child is reacting to a situation unreasonable, ask him or her if she or he is having a soda can or water bottle reaction? It is okay to have emotions of anger, frustration, and sadness. However, it is not okay to take our emotions out on others. Help your child replace their soda can behaviors with new more acceptable actions like deep breathing and counting to ten.
Your child will have conflicts with others at school. Remind them to use these Problem Solving SAFE strategies to work through the conflict.
