"You are not your child's concierge." It is not your job as a parent to make everything in your child's life smooth and comfortable. If we do everything for children, they do not learn that they are competent and independent people with hopes and aspirations parents may not even be able to imagine. - Melora Pruneau (OB teacher and parent of three adults)
"Perfectionism is not only the enemy of the good; it is the enemy of adulthood." (P174) Allowing our kids the freedom and safe space to fail encourages independent thinking.
- Stephanie Afful (OB parent of 2)
Dean Julie got me thinking about how I greet my son the minute he walks in the door from school. Do I bombard him with questions before he even gets a chance to sit down? Putting myself in my child's shoes, how would I feel if every day when I got home from work, I was questioned. i.e. "How was work today? Did you turn in all your projects? Did you listen to your boss? How was your behavior?" Now, I give him a chance to relax, and ask a simple "How was your day?" or "Tell me something good about your day." Not interrogating him about every little thing every day shows him that I trust him to do what's required each day without me checking up on him and I am genuinely interested in what he chooses to share with me about his day.
- Camilla Wilson (OB parent of 1)
If we teach our kids not to talk to strangers, then they leave home as adults and literally everyone is a stranger. Teach them how to discern among the 99.9% harmless and 0.1% creepy. - Stacy Jurgiel (OB parent of 4)
You have to be brave to do the right thing for your kids. Julie talked about letting them fail now so they learn how to be resilient as adults. It's hard to do, but letting them learn how to deal with forgotten homework or lunch boxes in elementary school is a far kinder place to learn that lesson than high school or beyond. - Stacy Jurgiel (OB parent of 4)
It's not healthy to set unrealistic goals for your kids, such as is done at the high school level competition to get into the very few most prestigious highly selective colleges. If they only accept 5% of applicants, it's like taking an umbrella when the chance of rain is 5% - it's foolish!
- Stacy Jurgiel (OB parent of 4)
Dean Julie got me thinking about how I greet my son the minute he walks in the door from school. Do I bombard him with questions before he even gets a chance to sit down? Putting myself in my child's shoes, how would I feel if every day when I got home from work, I was questioned. i.e. "How was work today? Did you turn in all your projects? Did you listen to your boss? How was your behavior?" Now, I give him a chance to relax, and ask a simple "How was your day?" or "Tell me something good about your day." Not interrogating him about every little thing every day shows him that I trust him to do what's required each day without me checking up on him and I am genuinely interested in what he chooses to share with me about his day.
- Camilla Wilson (OB parent of 1)
If we teach our kids not to talk to strangers, then they leave home as adults and literally everyone is a stranger. Teach them how to discern among the 99.9% harmless and 0.1% creepy. - Stacy Jurgiel (OB parent of 4)
You have to be brave to do the right thing for your kids. Julie talked about letting them fail now so they learn how to be resilient as adults. It's hard to do, but letting them learn how to deal with forgotten homework or lunch boxes in elementary school is a far kinder place to learn that lesson than high school or beyond. - Stacy Jurgiel (OB parent of 4)
It's not healthy to set unrealistic goals for your kids, such as is done at the high school level competition to get into the very few most prestigious highly selective colleges. If they only accept 5% of applicants, it's like taking an umbrella when the chance of rain is 5% - it's foolish!
- Stacy Jurgiel (OB parent of 4)
Dean Julie told us to stop cutting our ten year olds meat. I felt like she was talking directly to me. Every since then I have let my son cut his own meat. He is getting pretty good.
- Hayley Arnold (OB counselor and parent of 2)
Julie had me at....I'm not really into this parenting thing....and yet she adores and loves her children "fiercely." I ave thought many times how draining this whole "parenting" thing is...and how much happier I am as an individual and thus as a parent and spouse when I do NOT hyper focus on "parenting" but rather on GOTR, the Race for Refugees, friends etc. I really think it's important for us to understand that our kids are not obligated to be the one and only source of our joy - that if our children do not have a good day then we do not have a good day. Too much pressure on our kids! I felt very relieved that yes, it is possible to love our children so much but not really be into this parenting thing. And that what we are really trying to do is "help humans to thrive."
- Heather Huewe (OB parent of four)
Read this New York Times Article and check out Julie's Ted Talk to learn more about the book. You can follow Julie on Twitter @DeanJulie and learn more about her work by visiting http://www.howtoraiseanadult.com/.
- Hayley Arnold (OB counselor and parent of 2)
Julie had me at....I'm not really into this parenting thing....and yet she adores and loves her children "fiercely." I ave thought many times how draining this whole "parenting" thing is...and how much happier I am as an individual and thus as a parent and spouse when I do NOT hyper focus on "parenting" but rather on GOTR, the Race for Refugees, friends etc. I really think it's important for us to understand that our kids are not obligated to be the one and only source of our joy - that if our children do not have a good day then we do not have a good day. Too much pressure on our kids! I felt very relieved that yes, it is possible to love our children so much but not really be into this parenting thing. And that what we are really trying to do is "help humans to thrive."
- Heather Huewe (OB parent of four)
Read this New York Times Article and check out Julie's Ted Talk to learn more about the book. You can follow Julie on Twitter @DeanJulie and learn more about her work by visiting http://www.howtoraiseanadult.com/.
